Changing Behavior in the New Year: A Practical, Constructional Approach to Lasting Change

By: R. Trent Codd, III, Ed.S.

Every January, millions of people resolve to change their behavior. They promise themselves they will exercise more, eat better, drink less, procrastinate less, or finally follow through on goals that have been postponed for years. By February, many feel discouraged and self-critical. The familiar explanations appear: “I lack discipline.” “I don’t have enough willpower.” “Something must be wrong with me.”

From a constructional perspective, this conclusion misses the point.

Behavior does not fail because people are weak or broken. Behavior continues because it works. Every stable habit provides something useful in each situation. The real task of behavior change is not to eliminate “bad habits,” but to intentionally build better ones - habits that meet the same needs at less cost.

Why Most New Year’s Resolutions Fail

Most New Year’s resolutions focus on stopping behavior: stop procrastinating, stop overeating, stop worrying, stop avoiding discomfort. While this approach feels logical, it often backfires.

First, it frames undesirable behavior as a personal flaw rather than a practical response to circumstances. Second, it removes a habit without replacing what it provides - relief, comfort, structure, efficiency, or emotional protection. Third, it depends heavily on self-control, which tends to disappear when people are stressed, tired, overwhelmed, or discouraged.

From a constructional view point, asking someone to simply stop a behavior is like tearing down a bridge without building another way across. The need remains, and the behavior usually returns.

Behavior as a Practical Solution

The constructional approach begins with a simple idea: behavior makes sense in context.

Even behaviors people dislike - avoidance, emotional eating, excessive worrying, overworking, or procrastination - exist because they solve real problems. They reduce stress, offer short-term relief, help people cope, or allow them to keep functioning under pressure.

This does not mean these behaviors are healthy or ideal. It means they are the best options available given the person’s skills and life circumstances. Lasting change happens not by fighting behavior, but by expanding the number of useful options a person has.

Understanding what your Current Habits do for you

Before setting a New Year goal, it helps to understand the habit you want to change. Ask yourself:

What does this behavior give me right now?
What discomfort does it reduce?
What does it help me avoid?
What problem does it solve quickly?

Procrastination may reduce anxiety or fear of failure. Late-night scrolling may offer relaxation, entertainment, or connection. Overeating may provide comfort after a long day. Worrying may create a feeling of control or preparedness.

This kind of reflection is not self-justifying - it is realistic. Habits last because they work. Any plan for change that ignores this reality is unlikely to stick.

From Stopping Habits to Building New Ones

Once the purpose of a habit is clear, the goal shifts. Instead of asking, “How do I stop doing this?” a more useful question is, “What new behaviors could meet these same needs in a healthier way?”

For example, instead of trying to stop procrastinating, you might focus on building a habit of starting tasks in small, low-pressure ways. Instead of trying to quit emotional eating altogether, you might add other reliable ways to relax, reward yourself, or feel cared for. Instead of trying to worry less, you might work on problem-solving skills or learning to tolerate uncertainty.

Constructional goals emphasize what to add, not whatto take away.

Start Small and Make it Repeatable

Big goals often fail because they ask for too much change too quickly. A constructional approach focuses on small actions that are easy to repeat and feel rewarding.

Two minutes of movement, one paragraph written, or a brief pause before reacting may seem minor. In practice, these small actions matter because they lower resistance, make starting easier, and create a sense of success. Over time, small wins add up to real change.

From this perspective, success is not about intensity - it is about consistency.

Shaping your Enviroment to Support Change

Motivation is often treated as something you either have or don’t have. A constructional view treats motivation as something that grows when situations are set up well.

Consider:
What triggers the old habit?
What makes it feel rewarding?
What gets in the way of the new habit?

Change becomes easier when environments are adjusted to support better choices. This might mean placing reminders where you will see them, making desired behaviors more convenient, or adding small obstacles to habits you want to reduce. Progress depends less on willpower and more on thoughtful setup.

Replacing Aviodance with Skills for Moving Forward

Many resolutions fail because they focus on stopping avoidance without aiming toward what matters. Avoidance exists because situations feel uncomfortable, uncertain, or emotionally risky.

A constructional approach builds skills for approaching challenges gradually. This may include practicing starting imperfectly, building tolerance for discomfort, learning to ask for help, or developing better ways to calm yourself.

As these skills grow, avoidance becomes less necessary.

Measuring Progress by what is Growing

People often track change by focusing on failures: missed workouts, broken streaks, or slip-ups. A constructional approach looks instead at what is increasing.

Are you starting tasks more often?
Do you have more ways to cope?
Are difficult situations becoming easier to handle?

Progress is measured by expanded choices and increased flexibility, not by perfection.

Connecting Change to the Life you want

Ultimately, constructional change is about building a life that feels vital. Habits last when they connect to what matters most - relationships, health, purpose, creativity, and meaning.

Instead of asking, “Am I doing this right?” try asking, “Does this move me closer to the life I want?”

A Different Kind of New Years Resolution

Constructional change may feel slower than dramatic resolutions, but it tends to last. It respects the practical reasons habits exist and the realities of everyday life.

This New Year, rather than trying to eliminate parts of yourself, focus on what you want to build. Lasting change comes not from self-criticism or force, but from creating better options - one small, meaningful step at a time.